Give me Your Money!

Some people may call me silly and others even stupid, and yes I’ll be the first to admit that perhaps I am. I have a simple philosophy in life which is life is for living, smiling and enjoying every moment as much as possible, rinse and repeat.
 
My main objective is to make at least one person smile and remember me every day, if I can do that, then in my book its been a successful day and who could ask for more. Just lately, with the onset of the corona-virus, it has been more difficult due to social distancing. However, opportunities to make other people laugh are still everywhere as I was about to discover.
 
I was about to go shopping and as I was about to leave the house my lovely nearly 18 going on 43-year-old son said in his best authoritative voice: “I told you I would do your shopping for you” as you have to stay in isolation. It was not yet 7:30 AM, so I didn’t in-visage meeting many shoppers at Lidl at that time in the morning, and I also planed to keep my distance from anything remembering my fellow man. “I’ll be okay and cautious” I replied “noooo dad, let me do it, that’s my job now,” he said intently. “Seriously, I’ll be okay” “then don ‘t blame me if you die of the virus” was his abrupt and caring reply.
 
I started to play with visions of exactly how I would blame him if I were dead!
 
He was right; apparently those of us over 60 years old with diabetes in the UK should self isolate for 12 weeks, but it was a lovely sunny morning, and I was taking precautions and planned to practise safe shopping.
 
I love the fact that my son was keen to get involved and help, but at the same time, I already knew the most likely outcome of handing my credit card over. He would return with perhaps half of the items I had requested, and 101% of the ones which took his fancy, as like many parents. I have played this game before.
 
The supermarket was, in fact, quiet, and distancing yourself was quite easy to achieve. I have recently taken to wearing a silk scarf which my wife presented to me as a gift, and I instantly liked. I feel it adds that artistic touch to my appearance, which I love. The reason I am sharing this fact is that many of the shoppers were donning surgical face masks which make me feel quite uncomfortable. Then, however, I noticed a lady just ahead with a scarf of a different colour, although similar in appearance to mine. By complete contrast she held the end of her scarf to her face to reduce the risk of airborne infection.
 
Far preferring this more attractive method of practising safe shopping I pulled my scarf across my mouth in the same fashion and immediately felt much safer, and a little like ‘Dick Turpin’ all at the same time. On the occasions which I got remotely close to any other shopper I said: “stand and deliver” or “your money or your life” and it did get people smiling. However, I had saved the best for last because after unloading my purchases on the check-out conveyor belt ready for the cashier I saw my opportunity. The lady before had paid and taken her purchasers, and this was my big opportunity. As the cashier looked up to greet me I said “give your money, all of it!” he just smiled and said: “right, you’re really frightening!” and everyone was laughing, successful morning. Opportunities are everywhere.
 
I didn’t have my phone with me in Lidl, of I took the picture when I returned to my car.

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