My wife is an excellent cook, and my protruding belly stands as a testament to this fact.
I was on a deadline and hoping to get a good morning of work completed without distraction. It crept up the wooden stairs without a sound, and as silent as a spider. It noiselessly slunk up on me with the stealth of a ninja warrior until it was too late. It then fell upon me with intent by infiltrated my easily distracted olfactory senses.
It smelt so good and forced me to look up and away from my focus, and my work, and caused me to salivate in eager anticipation. I needed to refocus, but the ambrosial fragrance that inaudibly drifted unseen up the stairs into my small office was more distracting than the promise of sex!
What is it? I shouted down to the kitchen with interest; there was no reply. My wife is known to have spasms of selective hearing. I asked the same question again, only this time much louder, and still, no response was forthcoming.
I considered that perhaps she was deep in thought and composing the outline of her upcoming dissertation in the depths of her mind, and only using her culinary skills as relaxation.
The aroma continued to improve as she added ingredients. I made a mental note that I needed a tight-fitting office door to stop the ongoing invasion of such work inhibiting fragrances, as this had happened on many occasions before. The spicy bouquet was now so thick it could fool you into believing its photo could be taken, or even sliced with a knife, and it demanded my full attention. I tried without success to expel this olfactory tormentor from my mind, but it refused to leave.
As a final resort, I opened the window wide in the hope it would depart my office, and to my dismay noticed my neighbour became instantly infected. For a moment, he stood tall and almost motionless. The only noticeable movement was his nose which twitched in delight as the fragrance penetrated deeply, his hunger visibly grow.
My wife is a real expert at distracting me in so many different ways. The smell of her cooking, however, creates colour images in your mind, and is, without doubt, her most potent weapon!